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As all of you know, cable news networks are the furthest thing from what news networks should be. Sure they display stories, sometimes break them, sometimes report them but overall they are sort of like the YES network is for Yankees fans. You watch Fox news for the GOP side and root for your team as the sweat furrows from their brows while they use every bit of their determination to obsess over and criticize the president during their shows. You watch MSNBC if you’re into the president as their shows house personalities with their eyebrows firmly arched in that one eyebrow arched manner as they do the guffaw, smug, “look at how dumb these yokels are” to the GOP heads while defending the president. All of it works fine if you have a firm side, but really if you have a firm side you’re just rooting for a button and a dominant color.

So what do you do if you want news, personalities but you don’t root for a team? Well if you’re me you create your own cable news network in which you have an eye towards entertainment, diverse personalities and also giving people the plankton that they want.

Because here is how it is and here is how it should be. Cable news right now has a bunch of networks that cater to certain demographics because they are a business and businesses don’t care about doing things like say…. being responsible reporters. Instead they hire people WHO LIKE TO YELL and who support the party of the network and if you’re into it you dig it and think you’re getting the straight and narrow truth. Instead of staying the hell out of the way and having a balance, you just sit down and watch the skewed view of your choice.

But I can get with that - I don’t want just dry news reporting. I like my entertainment too but I don’t have any predisposition’s about lying to you all about being balanced. It’s 2010 and I want to educate you AND give you entertainment. So here is what would happen if I all of a sudden got a ton of money, assets and the ability to create a news channel. Let’s loosely break it down by time.

9:00 A.M. - 11:00 A.M. ish: you get your news that repeats, much like Sportscenter. For those of you that watch Sportscenter, you get to sort of drift in and out of it with the knowledge that you’re going to see it again in 30 minutes. It’s perfect for waking up because you can pay a little bit attention and through determined repetition you can get the stories of the day. I’m thinking 2 to 3 anchors, casual switching between the anchors and there will be one attractive woman and one British guy on the show. Why? Because you want something pretty to look at, and because English accents lend a sort of intelligence to it.

11:00 - 12:00 - Dan Rather travels through America and reports on America’s hidden places. Because Dan Rather does this show already, or he should do it if he isn’t. He’s the legendary newsman, from a time in which people took these people seriously. Also, because he still carries enough demographic weight for the olds.

12:00 - whenever: More news, because what happened overnight/morning needs to be updated in the afternoon. Plus people have lunch breaks, and this way instead of talking heads they can get their issues reported on. We can even set this up like they do it now, with the money segments, an entertainment segment, etc. I also want a section on world news, because sometimes shit happens outside of your backyard too. Plus, if something breaks, we have plenty of time to cover it.

5:00 - 6:00: A Politically Incorrect style, roundtable show with Dennis Miller and Bill Mahar as dual hosts. I want the talking head shows to be balanced, so we get super liberal Maher and Super GOP Miller to team up. If they can’t be in the same room then we do it via satellite. Nonetheless, we get two opinionated ex comics who can co host a show with a panel. You get your yelling, you get your opinion, you’re happy.

6:00 - 7:00: Nightly news, rotating host style. Every day we have someone new hosting, and they are in control. Maybe one day it is a Shep Smith type, maybe one day it is an Olberman type, maybe we snag someone from the BBC. Because the 6 o’clock hour is important for news but the idea of a single host that we have to fret over to choose because we want “America to trust them” is gone. Also this show will be interactive via Twitter and chats. As will most of our network, because it is 2010 and this is how we do things now.

7:00 - 8:00: Karl Rove vs. James Carville - PTI style show. The two guys who helped get the victory for the last two-term presidents, and the two most vicious guys in politics. If you’ve never seen “Pardon the Interruption” (a.k.a. “PTI) it is a show on ESPN in which two sports writers have timed debates on the topics of the day in sports. The topics are on the right hand side of the screen, and it moves quick. These two guys would be insane and great and don’t tell me you wouldn’t watch that show.

8:00 - 9:00: Interview time with seasoned host. Who knows who we can get, but since we’re reporting news and having these talking head shows at the very least we should be getting these quotes from the news makers themselves. Because when we get the Barry O interview, it will be here for the whole hour or 1/2 hour.

9:00 - 10:00: I have nothing scheduled for here, but I am thinking about some sort of Anderson Cooper type thing where instead of the Rather show being in America, our host travels the world.

10:00 - 11:00: News.

11 PM - 12 Midnight: The Sarah Palin show. Yep, you heard me right, because she’s not running for president and she clearly is looking to be Oprah for the hayseeds. Her show is set up talk show style, like Leno/Letterman. No monologue, but she can have guests on, maybe a band, maybe a musical guest. It will be news related, but if she does get some famous person on to plug their movie and talk about politics, why not? Plus, you know that every other comedy show would have a FIELD DAY WITH THIS. Which leads me to…

12 midnight - 1 AM: Late Night With Bill Clinton. FUCK AND YEAH. I’m thinking jazz band, velvet chairs, Bill and guest sit down for a chat about the days events. It will be the yang to the yin of Palin’s show, everyone gets equal time between both shows and both shows will be breezy and chat like. Also it is abundantly clear that Bill Clinton is ready to host a talk show.

So there you have it. It would probably take billions of dollars, but when you have a lineup like this do you turn this down? Exactly.

Every episode I edit these and come up with a laundry list of what exactly we spoke of on the episode. But then I thought to myself “why preview it?” Why not just say that JW (third person~!), Cody and Jay from Buncocky did an episode that contained free flowing conversation about politics, race, corpses, drawing power from making love to corpses, sports, accessories and so much more? Because that is what we did, and that is what you are about to download. The winner is you! twenty9cast@gmail.com, search for us and fan us on Facebook and we love you all.

The show has only been on for what, a month or so? and I am watching a show called “Jersey Shore - Spoofed” where the cast is acting poorly from some scripted lines as they segway in and out of all of the interweb spoofs made by weird people. It’s the cast of a reality show watching people’s You Tube videos and the popularity of the show warranted it.

It’s crazy how popular this all became. Everyone who saw the adverts before it came on knew it would be funny in that guilty way but did you think you would be having conversations about these people in restaurants with your intelligent, cool and hip friends? And next week it will be gone, which means we’re going to watch as they people try and transition this into well…. something.

They are picking it up for a second season, but at this point how would it ever work? Would they go back to the same house, and have the probably 500 people who go to the shore following them around? Would it be like some off “Fight Club” reality show, where we watch as the guys get into fights every three seconds? There is no second season for this. The Jersey Shore (scarily enough) began, entered the national lexicon and will end, and we will forget all of that four months later. So when you read this, think of it as the tipping point for all of this; after all there is now a show on in which these people watch videos of their press coverage.

66 posts a day and beyond, peoples!

The Biggest Loser is a show I was recommended by Double J and after a few seasons of forgetting to watch it, I decided to record it to see fat people work out like a motherfucker and then lose weight. I assume that this is how it goes, so let’s get on with the sweating.

It is mothers/fathers, twins, family, 11 couples and some horrible intro music that sounds like Aaron Nevile without that weird voice tick he has. Everyone is pretty fat, so they all have upward battles. One guy I hear is 5-hundo pounds.

The sun breaks over a calm deer eating things that the contestants may have to eat. One of the twins on the brown team got booted and the other twin feels like a part of him is gone. He battles alone now, which can only make him shame eat. Thankfully there are people who will kick his ass.

Jillian is mean looking. I have decided his as she yells at the people on the bikes. She isn’t blind Ashley! as the woman struggles on the bike. It’s a weight lifting montage! Trainer Bob looks like some weird action figure. He knows it hurts and he said that with sass! It’s not geetting easier says Stephanie (who lost 18 pounds so far). Apparently they pick someone out every workout to punish further. Bob makes fun of Mike and his 526 pound frame. He doesn’t know how long he has with Mike (do they kill him?) so he’s gonna make the most of it.

Mike has a story about his weight; he had no idea he was over 5 hundo. He’s lonely and he’s glad to be here! It is a gift because he is the biggest ever so he needs a cheerleader which Bob will be! Jillian has to be on HGH - she has anger in that way that explodes out of nowhere. Now she’s breaking down the twin, making him swing a sledgehammer at tires. She’s making fun of him, and he is breaking. His family died, or most of them and I wonder that if i was 500 pounds and some smaller chick on HGH is yelling at me, and I have a sledgehammer in my hand….. well maybe I would cave in her head. Jillian turns kitty cat now, and gives him a pep talk. Your dreams can come true!

We’re back from break, as Dr Huizenga is meeting with the group. He doesn’t have good news and he tells them that this is the unhealthy group EVAR!! I mean, c’mon no one there knows this? Patty is shocked! Her diabetes is a reversible disease, dammit! Why wouldn’t she listen! The Doctor has a plan, a plan for all of these people to be healthier. Mike’s plan involves watching a normal man simulate his weight. He doesn’t get it, but a visit to the doctor explains it all. They simulate his 303 pounds of extra weight by strapping weights to Bob, who really rubs it in, and says he is miserable, and if I am 500 pounds and this guy is making fun of me and he is immobile then I am tacking him. Bob is still mean and this is not a good way to inspire him, right? can’t they just work out?

Back to the next segment, Patty’s diabetes is horrible and her daughter will get it soon! Some blonde woman begs her to get help! Every segment with Patty makes me want to use “!” because they are high drama! Ooooooh the people in the room is their family. That doctor looks also like an action figure, of some superhero type. There is a lot of character development here.

Cut to the red team who will find out the true cost of being overweight. The guy on the team is too fat to dive, and lost his job. Cut to Lance eating a sandwich with his Confederate Flag shirt, and hey racist, maybe I don’t care if you can dive.

With the doctor, Lance explains that he cannot pass the diver physical so he cannot dive. A hummer pulls up, and inside is money! cash money, 3 million they are wasting because they are fat. Wait what? Huh? All I am saying is that if i am really fat and my wife is too and the only thing standing in the way of 3 million is a skinny Dr…. then i’m rushing him and hijacking the truck.

The orange team now gets their lesson. They look at 7 trays to look at what they usually eat in a day, Jillian will eat one meal, and that is a lot of Taco Bell looking food! Jillian is disgusted! Some of that looks real good! How is Taco Bell not suing the shit out of this show! That looks like Nachos Bell Grande, man and there is a Taco Bell like 10 minutes away. Damn you Jillian for throwing up those Nachos Bell Grande. The orange team knows now to eat better, and that is a long way to go to say something that fucking simple.

I now get why this show is 2 hours, as with 11 teams, that is a lot of people to cover.

Back to the show, we see a pool set up that looks like a balance beam over it. Some blonde woman explains the game. There is a balance beam, the length of the pool. Each team needs to take 10 beach balls from one side to the other. The winner gets immunity, the losers get a 2 lbs. addition to their weight. This is like the Real World Road Rules challenge. The purple team is fucked, as Patty diabetes makes her feet numb. Man Maria is also screwed as she does not know how to swim. We start out with red team falling, then gray team, and the orange team gets it! Lots of failing as the blonde commentates, and John the twin realizes that that beam is waaaaay smaller than him. More action and dramatic music as these people balance on a beam. Man, editing is an art people, don’t ever forget it. Is this a timed event? This seems like it would take hours. The white team needs to pick it up, but Maria cannot swim. I feel like I should root for Mike on the white team, as I know his story and that was the one I didn’t reject. It looks like Red is going to take it and it wins immunity! The Black team needed it! Orange in third, and the white team is screwed. The purple team comes in…. somewhere but Patty is happy that she finished. The white team… screwed. It’s the brown vs the white, and Maria can’t do it… she needs at least one trip. She falls while trying, and wow…. not in the water but on the stage, and we got blood! Maria broke her nose I think and it is running out like water! Fucking Mike does nothing! Man that’s your mom! Fuck Mike, I hope his heart explodes from fat. Maria gets loaded in the ambulance, and Mike is worried about his 2 lb penalty. I hope he suffocates on cake.

So the white team loses and gets the 2lb disadvantage, and Maria has a broken nose and a fractured finger. She feels bad for her son, like a mom would but her son is a shit and won’t go and help her. So remember, fuck Mike I hope his developing diabetes makes doctors cut off a leg. Trainer Bob says think about himself, and Mike wants self esteem. Bob coaches him, but you know, how about he doesn’t;t have self esteem until he drops about 150 pounds? Why pound him into the ground and then when he is half way there he can feel good?

Jillian zeros in on Maria, and I hope that Jillian trains her to destroy Mike. Jillian tries to give her the pep talk, and cure her of her fear of water. Hey, the chick can’t swim! Some people can’t do that and would have an issue doing one of your dumb balance beam games! Anyways, Jillian convinces her to go in the pool. Jillian is ready to go in, and they wade in. Maria is being taught to float, and Jillian is ripped. I believe that Maria has kicked her fear of water. Jillian ramps up the drama - “you’re not crying….. you’re swimming.” Jillian is happy that she got through, but she said that with the conviction of a serial killer, because Jillian is AGGRO!

We’re back at the ranch, and Bob has a bowl of sugar free gum. It is 5 calories and it will help with the cravings. Hit that Extra product placement! Back to the doctor, and apparently the crowd doesn’t;t get that they will certainly die if they remain fat. A 3D MRI pops up, and there is about 3 inches of fat until they hit organ. Now, isn’t this obvious? I swear I have seen this doctor before. Darrell on the black team is the sickest guy here, and he can’t believe he sat back and let it happen. He is taking back his life, and now I root for the black team! Unless the daughter allows the father to bust his face in a competition.

Back to the white team, and this shit is message heavy. Maria has a 1 in 3 chance of getting diabetes. Michael has body fat in the mid 50’s. Does he register that this will kill him? WOW his xray has padding! And the doctor telestrates it! His xray has a lot of padding! “You wanna live?” asks the doctor, and hey I do not want him to live. Die at 31, Mike. There is more doctoring with the orange team, and you get the point by now, they will scare them into it. Cigarettes and obesity will kill the orange team! I have one of those causes! But I will quit smoking, I swear! I don’t want to live long, but longer than that!

More fear and loathing. The gray team can’t sleep well! The pink team has an inner age of 57. A 30 year difference, being that one of them is 27. They are sad. They have played around with their lives, the most valuable thing they have.

OOOOH a tip? Get your risk assessed! how old are you really??

Oh by the way, here are some adverts - sugar free gum, and…. Taco Bell. You remember that food that made Jillian throw up? Yeah.

Workout montage comes back and everyone is nervous. Growling as weights get lifted and Jillian is AGGRO. Lots of shots of crying and Jillian loves it. You know, if you had to lose like 15 pounds, I bet like 2 weeks there would get that shit taken care of. Bob is riding the girls hard, and Mike has a lot against him. What about your mom? She has all that and a busted nose! The red team thinks they can sandbag it, the guys are getting lazy, because this last chance workout goes ALL DAY. Oh man Jillian and the pink team are in a tug of war! Jillian is talking shit! Kick her ass pink team member! And then tie that bitch up!

We’re at break, and man I want to workout with Jillian just to spend an hour every day getting aggro with her! I want her to talk shit and me not to quit and to call her horrible names and we can yell at each other while I am on the treadmill, or lifting weights as I do those extra 10 sets because I yelled at her and told her she was a whore when she asked me if I wanted to quit.

Snacking inhibits weight loss! Eat 3 meals, one small snack only! And we’re at the vote! Mike is nervous, as well as everyone else. Blonde woman gives em the business, and no one wants to fall behind that yellow line. Lets get to the numbers!

Red Team: Melissa gained 1, Vance lost 8. Sandbaggers! But they have immunity!

Gray Team: San loses 9, Koli loses 8. 17 lbs total.

Pink Team: Ashley loses 8, Sherry loses 5. They needed 12, they got 13. Sherry is under 200 lbs!

Green Team: They say their confident…. but will it work? they need 11 lbs to stay alive. Miggy loses 8, Migdala loses 4, for a total of 12, and they just slide by.

Purple Team: They worked hard, but they need 10 lbs.

Commercial! TENSE!

Purple Team: They need 10 or over to stay in, Patti loses 4, Stephanie loses 3. OOOOOH SORRY, 7 lbs total and that isn’t good.

Orange Team: They are a bit scared. They need 7 lbs to stay in. Cheryl loses 3, Daris loses 7, and they stay in with a combined total of 10 lbs.

Purple Team is at the bottom so far, could get relegated just like Premier League.

Brown Team: It’s only one man, fighting against teams. He needs 7 lbs to stay in, and he is doing it alone. 10 POUNDS! John cleans up, and stays in single handed! Brown power!

Black Team my new favorites: They need 10 to stay in.

COMMERCIAL THAT BUILDS SUSPENSE!! Hey did you know Jay Leno’s show is still on the air? That’s what he said to Sandra Bullock. Did you also know he’s shifty? Team Coco!

Black Team that is my pick: Needs 10 lbs to stay in. Andrea loses 5 Darrell loses 10. 15 lbs total and HELL YEAH BLACK TEAM!

It’s down to the White team vs the Purple team.

White Team: Maris is cool, Mike can die in a fire. Let’s see if they fail. Maria loses 10 Mike loses 11 but they have a 2lb. penalty, and Mike sort of talks shit about his Mom’s fall! Man fuck Mike, he has no class. I hope that the extra skin he will get will suffocate him.

So the Purple team loses, and either Stephanie or Patti will go home. Montage and Patti wants to go home in sacrifice for her daughter. She can do it at home. Apparently the reveal of what the losing person looks like today is a gimmick this show does! Why not save that until the end!

We’re almost done here, and the people come in with plates that will decide the fate of team purple. Patti gets the votes she wants, and she looks to be going home, sacrificing herself for the daughter. Cest le vie’ Patti. She gives her inspirational good byes and what does she look like now??? She started at 243 and woah she lost 43 pounds! She looks like a marine when she works out, she runs (not well) but she finishes the races. Her life is turned around, and the doctor visits to tell her that her health is better. Hey, this show and I am not kidding… is inspirational! If these people can do it, why can’t everyone? Get your asses in the Gym!

(the following was written very late at night last night. )

I can’t sleep. Right now it is 4:13 AM, and I am up, watching Family Matters reruns and I can fully confirm that 4 AM is EXACTLY when nothing is on TV. Possibly due to sleep deprivation, probably because I have nothing better to think about, the following is what runs through my head at this moment.

*Mind you, as much as this will seem like it, I did not smoke weed, or drink, or do anything before I did this. In fact, I think I am even more suprised how I could think of such inane and nonsensical things while NOT under the effects of something very very fun to do.

That being said…the character of Steve Urkel, as played by Jaleel White. The character troubles me, for two real reasons.

A - His role in the “Family Matters” world. Family Matters is possibly the most vanilla show that has ever been on TV; it depicted a reality that no one you ever knew lived in, and I assume that it is wholesome enough and moral enough that even a Christian network can show it without being fearful.

That being said, Steve Urkel, friend of the Winslows and ubernerd is a stunning dash of incredible fiction in something that I guess can loosely be considered reality. The Winslows are a typical nuclear family (man did THAT characterization die or what?) and they have a normal life of working, family issues, raising the kids right, etc. Urkel is like an overblown caricature - almost as if Bugs Bunny was their neighbor. From the look, to the voice, to him being friends with the Winslows to him being some super scientist makes the whole thing really diluted.

B - As I stated earlier, how uncomfortable was it, and how does White feel now about playing that role? It’s one thing when he was younger, but the episode I am watching now he’s got to be like 20 - 21 years old and his voice is pitched way high, he’s telling the same jokes and the character is completely stripped away to a basic sketch. Did he feel trapped by the role? did he wonder how it would all turn out when the show ended? Did he feel typecast? I assume he figured there would be a second act after Family Matters was gone, and he probably did make money hand over fist, but was it worth it? I don’t know anyone who really liked that show, and I assume their target audience was kids, and possibly people from the midwest who were plain and full of morality. Did he feel at times like a trained human, just going out there and doing what he was told by writers? I wonder what he is doing now, but I fear that if I googled his name i’d end up on some odd patriot act type list that contains people who no one should ever be lumped in with.

I’ll end on a question - was the character of Steve Urkel a tour-de-force, method acting display of talent and comedy, or was it just a role that could be slotted in by anyone, or an excuse to sell t-shirts that say “DID IIIIIII DOOOOO THATTTTT?”

P.S. - Does anyone else find it hilarious that there used to be a show called “Family Matters” in which the youngest daughter was jettisoned from the cast in real life and whose dissappearence was NEVER EXPLAINED on the show? The theme song is about how with the love of your family you can overcome life’s issues and the fictional Winslow’s can’t even keep track of their kid? Did she run away? get kidnapped? End up becoming a pothead and show up on reality TV? Hmmmmmmn.

Yeah, slow news time right? If you thought I would write about the hijacker, well…. do you really look to me to give you the word on events such as that? Do you look to anyone? Probably not, and if you do look to someone, it’s someone who’s famous, who you respect. So, let’s play some videos:

FOOD FIGHT:

Imagine every battle in US history. Now imagine it recreated using foods that match the countries. In stop/start animation, this video sounds really stupid when I describe it to you but it is oddly entertaining to watch. Sushi vs. hamburgers, sausage and pretzels get involved, it’s messy and insanely detailed.

DRUNK HISTORY:

One night in November, Eric Falconer drank eight vodka cranberry’s and decided to eductate all us of on historical event through You Tube. In this episode, Jack Black Plays Benjamin Franklin, and well… trust me it is funny and click on it.

Every day I read a few websites that report on the happenings of a lot of really useless people. I remember long ago when there wasn’t as much media and the people that got written about actually did something that people were interested in talking to them about. But in the post reality TV/internet age, the supply of cameras and reporters created the demand of people to watch them. So, that’s where we are on that; you can eliminate one but the other will still find a way to survive.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t question why these people exist in a manner that equals their coverage. So here is where I try and figure out why some of these people are famous and you know… make fun of them for a bit.

Jon Gosselin/Kate Gosselin.

He’s a portly Asian guy who was married to a shrew and they have 8 kids. This is an accomplishment I assume, so TLC gave them a show. Of course, like everyone else who had a reality show, these people thought that the party would never end, and their success would last forever. And of course, like every family oriented reality show they split up because she became power/fame hungry and he decided that the fame he earned provided him with the ability to fuck hot chicks, of course the whole wife/8 kids thing gets in the way. I know why they are famous I guess - people love freaks, people love it when people in love hate each other. It’s like animals ravaging a smaller animal, and I don’t feel sorry for these two gazelles for being picked apart by the Hollywood Lions.

Paris Hilton.

She is a gangly rich woman with a lazy eye who creates awesome coverage because she shows her vagina and doesn’t care how she is portrayed. She is famous because she was thought of at first as some odd, Warholian take on the 15 minutes of fame thing. Of course she was too dumb/unaware to use that to her advantage so she decided to do the same trick every time and now people don’t care as much.

Lindsay Lohan.

She at least was an actress long ago. I guess she still is, but that would be like me saying I am a basketball player just because I liked to shoot hoops when I was 10. She started out young at the acting, won some praise and because of her shitty parents (and at this point her shitty decisions) she is now basically that friend we have who parties a little too much and we talk a bunch of shit about them while never scheduling any talks with them. She will probably either die or get over all of it, either of which the people will dig because both are intriguing stories.

The Kardashians.

This one is amazing because one sex tape made an entire family famous. Kim makes a tape of her fucking, and that makes her famous, not the other way around, which is an interesting way to get to the spotlight. Somehow she then gets a reality show in which her family and sisters moreso get get more famous. All because of her getting fucked by some dude. Now we read about one of them being pregnant, one of them being married, how this effects Kim, how this effects us, how much they are like us and all of that. Of all of these people these are the worst, because there wasn’t even a shred of talent or hook to begin with. She literally had sex on tape.

The lesson here? People care about dumb shit I guess. Maybe it is because they can exploit and laugh at the others and not look at their own shit. Regardless it’s annoying that these people get attention.

Being that you’re probably in a food/christmas coma, there is no point in me writing something for you to read. The attention level is low, as you are awash in the banquet of the holiday season. So, let me play some videos!

Black Flag, “Rise Above”

I’m a big fan of this group; they are able to walk the fine line between sloppy angry punk rock and intelligent progressive music. It is heavy but also it sounds like the wheels are coming off. Here is the band with noted 90’s comedian Henry Rollins playing Rise Above.

Best Coast: “Sun Was High (So Was I)”

I really have no idea about this band/chick but I downloaded this song a few months back and it was awesome. It is sleepy, catchy, dreamy, pretty. It was a great mood enhancer for the summer months and it reminds everyone how sometimes a song can be very simple and say a lot.

Charles Barkley and Nirvana do SNL Promos:

This is why You Tube is awesome. Here is some odd video feed of Charles Barkley doing promos for the SNL he hosted with Nirvana as the musical guest. Watch as Barkley tries to do small talk with Kurt Cobain.

Jay Z: “Wonderwall/99 Problems”

This is why Jay Z is the best rapper in the game and the best possible ambassador to rap. After headlining Glastonberry, he received criticism from Noel Gallagher of Oasis for his headlining slot. Jay Z then decides to cover Wonderwall to open the show.

Taking a break for the holiday, enjoy this view inside my living room, where if you look very heard you can see me on the right.